Scientology Personality Test stolen from whoever Sir Thuggus of Fondleshire stole it from.

I am pleased to announce there is no church of scientology in my city, but there is one in Edmonton. Pwnd! First of all, before they let you take the test, they really seem to want to meet me. They want me to pick up my results personally, and probably receive some awesome indoctrination at the same time. But they're not going to slip psychosis-inducing drugs into my iced tea, no way. Second, this test is way too long, and I swear, some of the question are in such poor English, I would have assumed that they had just translated it literally from Chinese.

But anyway, I have FANTASTIC news! According to scientologists, it looks like I'm really unhealthy! Awesome! Take that, Kirsty Alley!